Glorious Way Church
Glorious Way Church equips believers for the work of the ministry and stands for God’s truth in our culture. We serve as a regional center, where people from all backgrounds find refreshing worship and true communion of the saints.
Glorious Way Church
The Blessings Of The Marriage Covenant | Marriage & Family Series 9
Galatians 3:13 declares that Christ has redeemed us from the curse—an invitation to experience “days of heaven upon earth,” especially in our families. This final message in the Marriage & Family Series emphasizes that God’s blessings aren’t automatic; they require our alignment with His Word. Marriage, when centered around a covenant with God, becomes a threefold cord of strength and guidance. Whether navigating blended families, finances, or personality differences, divine order brings breakthrough where disorder invites struggle. No matter your relationship status, these biblical principles can transform your home into a place where heaven’s blessing flows freely.
Well, I have been tasked with doing a little bit of a wrap-up, and so let's turn in our Bibles tonight to Galatians, chapter 3, and, while you're looking, deuteronomy 28,. We'll start with Galatians, chapter 3, verse 13,. Most of you can quote it In chapter 3, verse 13,. Most of you can quote it. It's one of those confessions that I have wired into my life.
Speaker 1:Galatians 3.13,. Christ hath past tense, redeemed us from the curse of the law being made a curse for us. For it is written cursed is everyone that hangs on a tree. That the blessing of Abraham, everybody shout the blessing, the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles. Might see is not might on God's side, it's might on our side. Can we believe it? Can we receive it? Can we get a revelation of it? Can we believe it? Can we receive it? Can we get a revelation of it? That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ and that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith? And then, in Deuteronomy 28, verse 1, and it shall come to pass if everybody shout. If so, the blessing of god is always conditional. It's not automatic. It uh. We have a part to play in whether we have the blessing or we don't, and of course this is Old Testament and this is part of the blessing that we have a right to. It shall come to pass that if you shall hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord, your God, and do to observe and to do all his commandments, which I command thee this day, that the Lord, thy God, will set thee on high above all nations of the earth, and all these blessings shall come on thee and overtake thee. If thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord, thy God, blessed shall you be in the city. See that language is the strongest language that the Holy Ghost could use. Blessed you shall be.
Speaker 1:When I see that, I'm thinking about Isaac and Jacob. You know Jacob was the supplanter His name means supplanter, deceiver, and him and his mother hatched a plan to steal the birthright from Esau, and so he succeeded in doing that. I mean, his mama put lamb's fur on him and made him, dolled him up like he was hairy, like Esau. Esau was hairy and he was smooth, and so he had to look like and they sounded the same, being brothers, and so he blessed him with a blessing of Esau and it wasn't his, it was Esau's, but he blessed him and then later on, when Esau showed up, said oh, I've been tricked. Oh, man, I've already given your, don't you have a blessing left? He said I've already blessed your, your brother, and he shall be blessed. Man, that's how strong it is. I want you to get that. I mean, we're blessed. It's not something that's ethereal, it's not something floating around. It is something that is guaranteed by the blood, guaranteed by the blood.
Speaker 1:Blessed shall you be in the city. Blessed shall you be in the city. Blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your body, the fruit of your ground, the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your kind, the flocks of your sheep. Blessed shall be your basket in your store or your kneading tray. You're going to have plenty of hot bread all the time, never going to run out. I mean, god cares about your food, he cares about your kitchen, he cares about your children, he cares about your family, he cares about your marriage. He cares about your finances. He cares about your investments. That's what this is talking about. Israel's an agricultural society, so he talks a lot about cattle. But you might not have any cattle. You might have something else. You might have some stock, you might have a business, you might have any number of things.
Speaker 1:Verse 6,. Blessed shall you be. When you come in and when you go out, the Lord shall cause your enemies that rise up against you to be smitten before your face. I shall come against the one way and flee before you. Seven. The Lord shall command the blessing upon thee and thy storehouses and all that thou sentest thine hand to do. He'll command the blessing.
Speaker 1:How many of you believe that God's commands are always followed? But it's what is it conditional upon? If? If we hearken, we've got, we've got to do our part. We've got to hearken, and in all you set your hand unto, and he shall bless thee in the land which the Lord, thy God, giveth thee. The Lord shall establish thee a holy people unto himself, as he has sworn unto thee.
Speaker 1:If you shall keep the commandments of the Lord, your God, and walk in his ways there's that word if again and all the people of the earth shall see that thou art called by the name of the Lord, and they shall be afraid of thee. You know, god gave us a word beginning of this year and he's, you know, it's just time for us. You know, gave us a word beginning of this year and he's you know it's just time for us. You know it's time for us to stop being startled at what the devil does and let's be startled at what God does. Let's let the world be startled at what God does through us, and the Lord shall make thee plenteous in goods and in the fruit of your body, fruit of your cattle, fruit of your ground, the land which the Lord swear unto your fathers to give you.
Speaker 1:The Lord shall open unto thee his good treasure, the heaven, to give the rain unto the land in his season, to bless all the work of thine hand. And thou shalt lend unto many nations and shall not borrow. Not a sin to borrow, but you shouldn't have to borrow. You ought to get some. Bless you. Be a lender instead of a borrower, be a distributor instead of a consumer. That's God's best. That's God's best. And the Lord shall make thee the head and not the tail. Thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath if thou shalt hearken, and not the tail. Thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath if thou shalt hearken, under the commandments of the Lord, thy God, which I command thee this day to observe and to do them, and thou shalt not go aside from any of the words which I command thee this day, to the right hand or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.
Speaker 1:So tonight I just want to wrap this nine part series up, called the blessings of the marriage covenant, and I do want to release the blessing over everybody here. Whether you're married or not, you're part of the family of God and there's a blessing to be had when we get into the word like this and the Holy Ghost. We listen to it and I wanted to remind you, you know, we started week number one talking about the covenant of marriage and we went into some. I won't go into everything I taught in week one, but we've done a deep dive ever since then into all aspects of merit, of godly communication, and then child rearing and and even over into media, and we've given you a lot of good tools that you can work with. There are many more that we could share. We just we had this number of weeks set aside that we could do this, but, um, I wanted to remind you that, uh, that first week we talked about Ecclesiastes 4.12, that the covenant of marriage is between a man and a woman and God.
Speaker 1:And Ecclesiastes 4.12 says a threefold cord is not quickly or easily broken. And God is the third person of your covenant. He's there, he's a witness, he's there present. God and his word are one. So the word is your witness and, of course, god and his spirit. So the word and the spirit, then, that we teach all the time, the word of faith and the Holy Ghost, those become your covenant partners in your marriage. They're the thing that keeps your marriage strong.
Speaker 1:If you'll, when you have differences of opinion, when you have things that you've decisions to make that you're not quite on the same page, take time to pray, take time to give uh agreement, time to, to line up with the third person of your covenant I mean, he's brilliant, he knows exactly what you should do Then it's not so much about husband getting his way and the wife getting her way, but God gets his way. And then when husband and wife can agree on what God's way is well, then you've got a solid, solid agreement. Then your agreement. How can two walk together lest they be agreed? That's the whole purpose of marriage is to get two people in agreement, because there's such power in agreement.
Speaker 1:We talked about that the first week. If one will put a thousand to fight, two will put ten thousand to fight. This is why the devil works overtime to get you into strife, to get you into disagreement, to get you into offense, to get you, you know, playing these games. The world and, and, and many of us have these habits left over in our lives. You know, like the silent treatment, you know pouting. Don't get up my way, I'm not going to speak to you. See, that's, that's just babyhood, that's not. You know, you got to grow through that. Let God be God in your marriage. Everybody say blessings. So really, the family is God's building block for the church. The whole family of God in heaven and earth is named with his name. Oh, I just think about that. Ephesians, chapter 3. And so a family produced by that covenant union of a man and a woman is God's ideal and that's, of course, the building block of the church.
Speaker 1:You're in Deuteronomy 28. If you're still there, turn over to 11 in Deuteronomy 28. If you're still there, turn over to 11, deuteronomy 11. Again, this is really Moses. The word Deuteronomy means second giving of the law. So this is the second generation of people that were in the wilderness. Their parents died in the wilderness because they said we'd be not able to go into the promised land, so they died. They didn't get to see it, they didn't get to go in it, and so Moses had to teach them all about the good land and all of what they needed to do to possess it. And I want you to see in Deuteronomy 11. Because it's very repetitive. He goes through what they should do. He talks a lot about obeying the word. And let's look at Deuteronomy 11, 16 first.
Speaker 1:It said take heed to yourselves, that your heart be not deceived, that you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them. I heard Brother Hagin say this one time. You know, god can forgive some of the most heinous sins. He can forgive the sexual sins, he can forgive all kinds of things, but one of the things that is so grievous to God is idolatry. I mean, it's like spitting in God's face to worship another God. And you know that's why we're in such a mess in America, because America's turned away from the God of its covenant and allowed other gods to become on equal footing.
Speaker 1:I saw a picture of a guy in the middle of a crosswalk with his prayer mat with his rear end up in the air, bowing to Mecca in the middle of a crosswalk, holding up traffic. I mean he decided that's where he needed to worship. Allah was out in the middle of the road. I mean that is the stupidest thing. Why did we put up with it? It's outrageous, sugarland having a what is it a hundred foot or 50, I don't know big old, tall statue of a demon, god, right in the middle of town. How in the world did you allow that? Every one of those city council members ought to be thrown out on their ear. One of those city council members ought to be thrown out on their ear. That's not freedom of religion, that's just inviting demonic powers to come into your town. It's time we stand up church, all right.
Speaker 1:So he said don't worship other gods. The Lord's wrath be kindled against you. And he shut up the heaven. There be no rain, that the land yield not her fruit and that you perish quickly from off that good land which the Lord gives you. So lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul and bind them for a sign upon your hand that they may be affrontments before your eyes, and teach them to your children, speaking of them, when you sit in your children, speaking of them, when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise up, see, have the word of God in your house and you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house and upon your gates so that your days may be multiplied and the days of your children in the land, which the Lord swear unto your fathers to give them as the days of heaven upon the earth, as the days of heaven upon the earth. That's God's plan. That was God's plan for Israel, and how much more is it God's plan for the church of Jesus Christ, how much more is it his plan for his blood bought sons and daughters of the most high God to have the days of heaven upon the earth?
Speaker 1:You can have the days of heaven upon the earth in your life, whether you're married or not. And while I'm on the subject, whether you're not married, I mean sometimes people want to be married too. They want it too badly. Let's concentrate on Jesus first and get get the days of heaven on the earth in our single life before we start pursuing something else. Might make you a little more particular about the person you settle for, person you settle for. So God desires his families to have the days of heaven upon the earth.
Speaker 1:Now, when you look in Deuteronomy 28, starting with verse 15, all the way to verse 68, there's 54 verses of curses and every now and then I read them because I want to say I, to check up on my life and see what curses I've allowed, because you know you can allow curses. You know, sometimes they just show up and we don't kick them hard enough out of the out of the way, we don't step on them, we don't tread them under, we just kind of put up with them. You know, until then Now there's another one, and then there's another one, and there's another one, and then there's another one and there's another one. And I can tell you, you know, when you read all the curses, I mean it covers all sorts of financial trouble, it covers all kinds of trouble with kids, it covers all marital trouble, it covers all sickness and disease. I mean it covers just about anything bad that ever happened to you. It's listed among the curses that we've been redeemed from in christ, which means we don't have to put up with it once we realize how it occurred. You know, sometimes it's good to check up on how did that happen?
Speaker 1:The curse causeless does not come. I mean, many times it's something we missed, it's something we weren't aware of. You know the devil feeds on ignorance. If he can get you sleeping, if he can get you just kind of unaware, he'll slip something in there. And then, of course, sometimes it's just plain old disobedience. You know sin can cause it. You know sin can cause it. But you know, if we keep short accounts with God, the blood will cleanse you and then the devil doesn't have any right to put anything on you.
Speaker 1:Are you with me now? So these curses show up when there is disorder? That's the point I wanted to make. It's disorder. When there's disorder, then the curses show up. It's been the same way in this church. When disorder in this church comes up, it creates a place for the devil to come with a curse. He starts doing stuff he doesn't have the right to do. That's why we want divine order in this church. We want people under authority. We want to. We want to make sure that everything is set in its proper place. Amen, and that's the way your household ought to be. It should not be a like an army camp.
Speaker 1:I was, you know, I used to have some friends and and we spent a lot of time around them, you know, and and we were kind of younger christians at time. Our kids were younger and they had more kids. They had five kids at the time and Mama was like a drill sergeant, I mean, she was just, you know, barking at the kids and didn't treat them very kindly and it was just tense. Their house had a tension in the atmosphere that I found where I just we spent a little time over there and I was ready to go home and get back. I want some peace, man, that place is just a little bit too. But that's quoting the Bible. I will set no evil thing before my face. That's an evil.
Speaker 1:And she'd call her son that he was evil. And I thought, man, that's not a good word to speak to your child. He's just 11 years old. He, he's a typical boy. He's doing stuff he shouldn't do. Okay, don't call him evil, you know, correct him, but don't be ugly, um. So hallelujah, thank God for the word and the spirit. I mean, you've got the greater one living on the inside of you.
Speaker 1:I like what Brother Mark was talking about. He's a genius. He's got that book. Holy Ghost is a genius. He's a genius. He's better than any marriage counselor. He's better than anybody that you can consult. He's part of your marriage, he's the third cord of your marriage and he, if you'll consult him when you see disorder, he can show you how to solve the disorder without a whole lot of damage. Are you with me now? He can bring disorder into order and then the blessing can flow, and then the blessing can flow. I said the blessing can flow. So, going through some of our past, we've had some breakout sessions I've heard they were really really profitable and y'all were getting to know each other Really powerful.
Speaker 1:We did have some questions that some of you submitted. I don't know that if I have them all, but I will touch on a few because of my 30 year well, 38 years really, because I add the eight years. I was at Lakewood and I've told you a little bit about some of my errands, my pastoral errands that my pastor Osteen had me on Sunday morning. I mentioned a couple of them that I was sent on, and so I mean I've witnessed a lot of wreckage in marriages, and I'm talking about Christian marriages I'm talking about, you know, marriages that were in deep trouble, lots of strife, lots of disorder, and no matter where you are tonight, maybe you have trouble and you're in the right place. The best way is to confront and admit that you've got trouble and that there's an answer for it. You can, you know, or maybe you just came out of a divorce. I don't know everybody's circumstance. There's lots of divorce in the church.
Speaker 1:Some church denominations condemn you when you're divorced. They throw you away when you're divorced. In fact, if you get remarried, they really do. You're done. That's what they did to Brother Osteen.
Speaker 1:Brother Osteen was divorced. His wife that he was married to got sick of being a pastor's wife, did not want to be a pastor's wife anymore. She divorced him, she left him. She wouldn't be with him. What's he supposed to do? He's a young man, he's got kids. I mean, he's got one child. I mean, what's he supposed to do? Just do without.
Speaker 1:So when he got remarried, the Baptist didn't like it. Well, you know what? Are they basing it on the Old Testament? They need to read the New Testament. What do you mean? Old Testament? Jesus said that. Yeah, he's talking to Jews. It's Old Testament.
Speaker 1:Look what Paul said. That's our guide, not what Jesus said to the Jews, what God, through the apostle Paul, said to the church. That's what we go by, and so you know, regardless of what your circumstance is, whether you're divorced, whether you're looking for someone to get remarried, this church is not going to throw you away. We're going to try to help you make the right decision and help you build a strong, god-inspired, god-filled family. So I've got a few of these questions I want to try to bring up and we're going to release the blessing over. You Got plenty of time here, so we had one on Christian dating, and I'm glad I wasn't in room for that one, because I have no experience on Christian dating.
Speaker 1:Amen, hey, gladys and I are an example. I mean, gladys married an unbeliever. She didn't know it. She's a little Baptist girl. She goes to Baptist church and the Baptist just teach her how to get saved every week. She wore out her rededicator by the time she was 13. So she didn't know anything about what the word said about not being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. As far as I was, you know he's a believer, goes to church, he's Catholic. Well, I wasn't born again. So she was unequally yoked with an unbeliever, is what she was.
Speaker 1:But we turned out, didn't we? I mean, once I got saved and filled with the Holy Ghost. Then she got filled with the Holy Ghost. We started got filled with the Holy Ghost, we started making a lot of adjustments and I began to see what some of the things that I had done, you know, ignorantly and stupidly, you know, in my early marriage I mean, it's just by the grace of God, if I hadn't gotten saved, I'm fairly sure we would have been divorced at some point. We were headed in opposite directions.
Speaker 1:So, you know, it's not about anybody feeling shame about where you are right now or what you have done. If it's under the blood, it stays under the blood. We don't have to talk about that. So someone asked when do I share? If I'm going to date and I'm dating someone? When do I bring up my past and when do I bring up whether I, you know, have been sexually active? And I would say you don't. If you've been married before, that's not even worth talking about. Yeah, you were married. Okay, there's nothing to talk about.
Speaker 1:But if you're single and you find out that the person that you after a little while, if they're marriage material and again, don't be dating unbelievers. A lot of people use dating sites nowadays and what I find is that people settle, they get on and they find a person that represents themselves and really it's not always honest what they're saying about themselves. You don't have any idea what they really are like and what they've really done in their lives. And so if you're going to go out and on date with somebody like that, you go slow and you don't bring them around all in that stage of development until you discover exactly who that person is and whether they're even on the list or the radar of possibility. And then if you're interested and they're interested, then you might want to say well, you know, I've been married before and I've got kids. That should come up pretty early in the deal.
Speaker 1:But if you're single and you're dating somebody and you've been active before, I wouldn't share that right away. At some point, if you really are serious about that person, you might have to say well, listen, I just want you to know before we get any further. I'm not a virgin. That's all you have to say. It's under the blood. You don't. You don't have to go back and have a list of people and dates. I know that sounds crude, but I mean, you know really just when something's under the blood, keep it under the blood. You're not being dishonest. You're not being dishonest. It's the 21st century and this is the case a lot of places Different than it was when I was coming up.
Speaker 1:Then you have situations where you're dating and you have kids, kids and they have kids. Well, it's more complicated. You're going to have to take more time. Don't you plunge into something like that without a lot of due diligence? You need to take the time to observe them in action as parents, see what kind of kids they've got, they have and how well-behaved they are or not well-behaved, because at some point you're going to have a blended family with somebody with kids that you didn't have anything to do with and you may not be able to handle it.
Speaker 1:Let that be the deal-breaker early on, instead of plunging ahead and saying, oh, I'm just trusting God, no, you're not trusting God because you didn't do your due diligence. You're just being foolish and you're led by the flesh. You're led by your eyes. You like that person, you want that person and you think that God will change them and God will change. No, he doesn't change. That's not how he works. And besides that, your stepkids you have no influence over, you're not responsible for their discipline and you cannot discipline your stepchildren. You know they don't. You're not their parent. Their parents are in charge of that. So you've got to have all that division, you've got to work all that out and it takes time. So I just urge you, if you're married with kids looking for a husband I heard Dr Laura say this years ago and I don't know, she's Jewish, she's conservative she just advised people not to ever get married while they had kids at home.
Speaker 1:That's pretty hard. I don't say that and I know why she said it, because she's a psychologist and she has to sit across the desk from people who've married into a blended family and now they have what Disorder and it's hell on earth when they're supposed to have days of heaven. That's what God wants for you Days of heaven. So don't sign up for hell. When you've got heaven you can have. How many of you willing to sign up for hell tonight? Anybody want to sign up for hell? Take it slow. Take it slow and be real careful. And you know and you're the know you're better served that way Again, when you're just all in a.
Speaker 1:I've seen people that were all in a tizzy. I know a guy one time he just had to get married. I mean, he couldn't stand. His wife died and he just had to get married, that's all. He couldn't be alone. Well, I've known men that were just, you know, they had a challenge and in one case one of the men that I knew that his wife had been ill with cancer for several years and was unavailable to him to be a wife and then she died. And then, man, he, within six months he's ready to get married, you know, and it worked out OK, he got a good one. But then another guy in a similar situation. He just went on a dating side and he just fell for the first gal that came along.
Speaker 1:And they're not very compatible with number one on my list is being compatible with the church you go to and what you believe about the Bible, and I don't anybody that goes to this church and you're a member of this church. I don't advise you to marry a Baptist or Episcopalian or a Catholic or I don't advise that because they're way away from what you're used to and you're going to have a whole lot of gaps to fill in. You're going to have a lot of frustration. You're signing up for hell when you're used to and you're going to have a whole lot of Gaps to fill in. You're going to have a lot of frustration. You're signing up for hell when you can have heaven. So, hey, why don't you put the brakes on? Make sure, before you ever go on a date, make sure that the basics are At least satisfied. Are y'all with me? Is this helping anybody?
Speaker 1:I mentioned this, but blended families. You know when you, when you do get married and you are the step parent a lot of times you have shared custody and so the the families are in flux all the time. So you're, if you've got an ex and your and your new spouse has an ex, those two exes that have to stay in the loop for the sake of the children. You're co-parenting these children. Are you mature enough to not be jealous of the ex? Find that out before you get married. Find out how sensitive they are. You can arrange for that. You can look at body language and you can see. Because you've got to have a. You might divorce this rascal, but he's still the father of your kids and you're going to have to co-parent with him and you're going to have to in some level, you're going to have to cooperate for the sake of the children, or you're not doing right by them, and vice versa.
Speaker 1:So, then that you've got this, and so then, as life goes on, what happens? Well, his kids go off with that X and your kids goes off. And so how does that all work? Are they going? Are they crisscrossing? Are they one day at a time? Are they all gone at one time and all coming home? I mean, it's look, the goal is days of heaven upon the earth.
Speaker 1:Know what you're signing up for. Look ahead. Look ahead and let's get over into the future. Let's get the romance and the stars out of our eyes and let's look at the practical ramifications of what we're about to do and see if we're really ready to have a commitment that's going to last forever. Because that's what you're doing. You're saying we're going to last forever.
Speaker 1:That's what marriage is. It's a covenant. It should not be entered into on a temporary basis. Well, if it doesn't work, we can always. I've done it before. I can do it again. No, that's not the right way. That's not the right, that's wrong. Amen. You know that. I don't have to say it, but I see it. I wish I didn't see it, but I see it. I see people do the craziest things. They call themselves Christians but they live like the devil. I don't know why they don't have to, but they do.
Speaker 1:All right, everybody say blended families, see, it can be a blessing. You can have influence over those stepchildren, you can be loved, you can be honored. It may not happen overnight. Just look at it from their standpoint. Think about life from their standpoint. They didn't choose any of this. They didn't choose the divorce. They didn't choose leaving one parent and going over here. They didn't choose you. And now they're supposed to be happy every day. No, they're not.
Speaker 1:It's going to take a lot of maturity on your side to bridge the gap between yourself and those children, a gap between yourself and those children, because God's looking at those kids. God's looking at those kids. He cares about them, amen. So what about? I've got a question here. What about? You know, the children spend time with the ex and they're not of the same faith or not of any faith. I mean, we've got all kinds of different situations in the church where people are of different, not even Christians. They're Muslims or they're Hindus or they're Mormons or they're whatever they are, and then you're Christian.
Speaker 1:And so what do you do about your children? The best thing I can say is is that you have the Holy Ghost living on the inside of you. Greater is he that's in you than he that's in the world, which includes he that's in your ex spouse, and you don't ever, ever get in a position of criticizing the spouse when there's questions, when the child inevitably will have questions. Well, dad won't let me do this, dad won't let me do that, mom doesn't want me to do this. Mom, you say well, I know, here's all I know. I know that your mom, I know that your dad loves you and wants the best for you. See, that's what you ought to be saying all the time to your child.
Speaker 1:Reinforce their confidence. Don't get in a war. Even if you don't like what's going on, don't communicate that to your child. Shield your child from any conflict that you have and do the best you can in love to chart a course with your ex. That's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to have a co-parenting situation. You're supposed to have some cooperation, and you know if, if, if, you're going to get tense and angry. Well, they're going to get tense and angry. No, you look, you're full of the Holy ghost you have. You know, if they're not and you are, then hey, it's on you then to be the peacemaker and the peace giver.
Speaker 1:Is this helping anybody? I mean, you know, look at it from a long-term basis. You know there can be some temporary things that happen one weekend or one month or one year. I mean different times of life. You know, have you ever parented a 13 or 14-year-old kid? I mean, you know that's a challenge. Hormones are raging, you know they're changing. Their bodies are raging, you know they're changing. Their bodies are changing. They go through this time when they think you're the stupidest thing that ever walked the earth, that they're smarter than you are. I mean, I remember feeling that way when I was that age. I still remember how ugly I was to my parents. I can't believe they allowed me to live. If I'd have been them I wouldn't kill me. Let's start over, honey. Now you're going to have to love. Everybody say love, love, love.
Speaker 1:Large age gaps in children Ah Well, my extended family was like that. I had kind of an unusual family dynamic in my family because I'm the youngest of four. My dad was the youngest of his four. He had three older brothers and there was eight years difference between me and my next sibling, which was my brother Bob, and so my sisters were much older. My oldest sister, marianne, is 14 years older than me, so she was more like a second mother to me when I was, when I was born she's 14, you know, and I you know, some of my youngest memories of her. Just you know, hauling me out to the ice cream truck and buying a root beer popsicle, and I still remember that I couldn't have been more than two years old and I remember her taking me out there. You know the little little ice cream, anybody ever. I don't guess they have ice cream trucks anymore, but anyway we had ice cream trucks come through the neighborhood and uh, but uh, you know, I, I just think it's a blessing, I mean, you know, I just think it's a blessing.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, when children are closer together they're more sibling rival, there's more arguing, there's more contention. You know, usually, and that's just normal, I mean, it's not anything abnormal, you know, you just teach them to do it, you know, be a little better at it, and but when you have a big age difference. Sometimes parents I've seen parents that learn from the mistakes of the older kids and they're softer on the young one. And that's what happened to me. I was spoiled. They kept telling me oh, they never would, let me get by with that, you're just spoiled. I heard that about 3,000 times a week and I was. I mean I admit it. I look back on it, it was, you know. I just they at the age that they were when I was coming up. They were much older than they were with the first group.
Speaker 1:But you know I don't have anything specific. I mean, you know you try to treat your children the same, but when you have a generation difference, I mean you know that's one reason why grandparents spoil grandchildren and it's because we're not responsible for their discipline and so when we're through with them, we send them home to you. So don't hold it against us grandparents, but now if you're a grandparent raising your grandchildren, so that happens more now than ever before, and so that's a different dynamic and you can't afford to be indulgent with your grandchildren any more than you could afford to be indulgent with your children. You're going to have to discipline them. You're going to have to. You're going to have to require them, you know, to obey you and respect you and all of those kind of things, that that. So you've got to get out of the grandparent dynamic. You know that that's only when their parents are involved and they have that parental guidance. But you're now the parent. You're now the parent. Don't don't be treating your grandkids like everybody else treats their grandkids, because they'll be unruly, they'll be undisciplined. Really, the lack of discipline creates fear in children when they're not. You know.
Speaker 1:Just think about a baby. What do you have to do with a baby? You have to wrap that baby up tight. My mother taught us that when we brought Claire home from the hospital you know, neither one of us do anything about nothing and Gladys's mother was 200 miles away. So my mother came and, you know, was there with us and we went in there and she wrapped Claire up so tight. She looked like a burrito. I mean she was wrapped. I mean like a mummy. It's like this. I said Mother God, can she breathe now she's sleeping. Don't ever just lay her in there and cover her. That's not going to work. You've got to wrap her because she's used to the womb, she's used to being confined and she's got to get used to this world. And you just let her flop out there like this and she starts moving, she gets scared, she wakes up, she starts screaming. And you got to get up and find out what's wrong. And it's usually because you didn't wrap her tight enough.
Speaker 1:So we learned, but it's the same, with discipline. You've got to watch your children. I don't mean just henpeck them, but I mean you just require them to follow the rules, to have order in the house. See, disorder is the enemy of peace. Disorder. God came to bring order to a world that was tohu vobahu In the beginning, genesis one, god created the heaven and the earth and it became without void, form and void, tohu Vobahu, totally discombobulated. In fact, there's no real English word for the Hebrew word Tohu Vobahu. The closest thing is just all messed up. It was all messed up and that's what God came to correct. And when he recreated the earth, he, he brought order. And then, when the when, when Adam fell, the disorder returned. And so that's what Jesus' blood has brought. It's brought the possibility for divine order to come in your marriage, in your home, in your relationship with your children. You just go with the Word of God. Teach them the Word of God day and night. Teach them how to love, teach them how to share, teach them how to love their siblings, teach them how to you know. Teach them all the things that the Bible is teaching you, and you'll come out on top.
Speaker 1:How can a husband lead a wife who has a strong personality? I'd say Gladys has a pretty strong personality. Most women have a strong personality. I like to say it this way the husband is designed to be the backlog on the fire. The backlog on the fire is just burns. It sits there, it burns in the fireplace. It provides heat and stability to the fire, and so when you want to add to the fire, you put the kindling in there. You know, when you want to start a fire, you have to have kindling. Kindling is thin little pieces of wood, you know, and when you put that in there, it just flames up and then it just goes back down. So that's women. Women are kindling and men are backlogs on the fire. The woman goes. Let her, let her, hey, let her burn, let her, let her let her sparkle.
Speaker 1:We come into church and Gladys lights off of the aisles and she's walking up and down and she's just going to everybody, talking to everybody and just spazzing out. You know, and just you know, sister Sparkle, she's coming back. You know she's coming back. But I mean, that's her, that's the way she is. I don't want to squelch it, I like it, I'm not like that. I'm not like that at all. I'm just, you know, kind of dull and boring most of the time, until I get behind the pulpit. Then I've got people laughing at me, so it encourages me to tell bad jokes. So you just enjoy that strong personality.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, just, I would say that when you know real quick to give their opinion, and if you're meaning that the Bible says, be swift to hear, slow to real quick to give their opinion, and if you're meaning that the Bible says, be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, and so let her express herself and listen, and don't be quick to try to answer what she's bringing up, don't, if you don't agree with it, don't be quick to say you don't agree, just just listen and and just listen and just, and if it keeps on and she's still got this idea that she's all excited about, listen, I mean the best thing to do is to listen. And then, of course, what we've already said is that God is the third person in your. So find out what God says about what she wants to do. It's not about you approving her plan. It's about you finding out what God wants your family to do about this thing that she's excited about.
Speaker 1:Strong personalities is just a personality. That, I'm hearing, is really a soulish description of someone, and we all have that. We all have a personality, we all have, and as we grow in the Lord, our personalities can get more and more like the Holy Ghost. We get our thoughts are more and more like, more and more like him, and we start to act and look more like Jesus. And that's the. That's the goal, isn't it? That's the goal. But you don't have to be hard on her. Be hard on her, you know it. Just, you know honey is a lot better than vinegar, so just deal with her with a lot of honey, not too much vinegar, all right.
Speaker 1:How do we prioritize our marriage after kids? I'm not sure exactly what they're saying, but in other words, when you're saying you're an empty nester, what I have seen is that in this high-pressure society, with all of the mothers and fathers both working and away from the house and the children suddenly leave, and now you have two people living under the same roof, perhaps they're retired. One's retired, the other one's still working, both retired. If you haven't worked at it along the way, you can have a huge gulf in between the two of you, because you've lost the thing that kept you in agreement, and that was your kids, and now they're not there. And I find that people have separate lives and you've got to work all the way through your marriage while your kids are there and then, after they're gone, it won't be so hard because you're still each other's best friend. You'd still rather be with each other than you would be with anybody else.
Speaker 1:But what I have seen is men go off and do their manly thing and women go off and they do their women thing and they get involved in separate spheres, separate sets of friends. That's dangerous to do, and if that's you, then you know you need to. I'm not saying it can't be fixed. It just takes work. Marriage is work.
Speaker 1:Agreement doesn't fall out of heaven. Agreement is a product of communication, and so what somebody needs to do in this situation is sit down and have godly communication and say look, my needs are not being met now. The kids are gone, we're empty nesters and I find that, being together with you, we don't have a lot in common. Let's sit down, let's try to find something where we can kind of get in agreement about some things, and maybe it's travel, maybe it's a hobby, maybe it's whatever it is. You find something that you can both enjoy and maybe start shaving all this other stuff that's separating you. I hope this answers your question. See, again, it's priority. What's the priority in your life? Well, God's a priority.
Speaker 1:And then, after God, is your spouse, and after your spouse is your children, and after your children are your grandchildren, and after that are your in-laws. A lot of people don't have any boundaries, and they're in-laws and they're outlaws and they're just invading your space on a constant basis. And so, husbands, if your wife's folks are that way, then that's up to your wife to handle that boundary. Are that way, then that's up to your wife to handle that boundary, and you might have to be real sweet to communicate your need for that boundary. And on the flip side, wives, if your husband's folks are the ones that are intrusive, that are always there underfoot, inconvenient and uninvited and entitled I mean, this happens. So then you can't be the one to fix that, it's your husband's job to do that.
Speaker 1:And quick story, I mean before I was saved I didn't know this. I mean I love my family. We were very close as a big family. I was close with Gladys' family and my family. I had no problems with either family. We were always together at some holiday, every Thanksgiving, you know we always had time.
Speaker 1:So anyway, my dad and mom my dad retired and Wanted to move out to Conroe and he sold their house on 1960, just the two of them and my company built their house. I drew their plans and we built their house in a little place across from Lake Conroe called Lake Bonanza, and they had some lots up there and and so we offered I offered them to stay with with us in our home in Shenandoah, gladys and I we just had Claire at the time and so my parents moved into our home in Shenandoah, gladys and I moved upstairs and gave them the master bedroom downstairs and we just had one child, we just had Claire, and my mother had been a caregiver to Claire when Gladys was at work. Gladys continued working after Claire came on the scene and once Jay was born, she hung it up and quit working and was a stay-at-home mom after Jay. But so this was after she's pregnant with Jay and Claire's a toddler and mother's very bonded with you know, really kind of more like a mother, see. She's not like a, she is a grandmother. She's indulgent, but she's caring for her like a mom, see. So she's real attuned to Claire's needs. And so you've got that under your house. And all of a sudden my mother's interfering with Gladys when Gladys wants to take a stand. Oh, you shouldn't do that. Oh, you shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1:And so it was really miserable having my parents live with me for six months while I finished. I was very motivated to finish the house, got it done, record, mother, I'm sorry if you hear this Telling stories on you, but see, I mean it's just real life. I mean this is what happens when you, I'm no longer the head of my house. I didn't understand, see, I'm not a Bible guy, I'm not saved, I don't know anything. See, I caution people when you have people come stay with you like extended. I mean it upsets God's order that I just got through. It upsets God's order If it gets in the way of your church attendance, if it gets in the way of your normal relations with your wife or your husband and your children and they're in there interfering and you've got grandpa wanting to spoil them, and you've got dad wanting to discipline them and you've got all this. I mean you could do that for a day or two, but you can't do it for six months. It's going to make a problem. Are you ready? So have boundaries. Everybody say boundaries, hallelujah.
Speaker 1:How do you talk about finances to be on the same page many years after marriage or not newlyweds? Well, again, it's order. God has his order. If you through a period of time, years, people tend to get in bad habits financially. They get to be spenders and not savers. Usually in a marriage you've got one that's a spender and one that's a saver. Hopefully, if you've got two spenders, you've got a lot of problems. But if you've got one, that's one way and one the other. Usually you do and you have.
Speaker 1:You know, for instance, gladys is the one that always paid our bill. She set the table and reconciled the bank statement back when they used to do that, and sit there and pay all the bills, write all the checks, mail all the checks, do all that. She did that for the church. For years she was the, you know counted the offering, put it in the bank, I mean she did all that and so you know, we didn't have a whole lot of difference when it came to finances. But some people do.
Speaker 1:Finances can be a pressure point. So let's again you go down the divine order. One way to correct imbalances is to make God first and make sure that you're giving your tithe. You're bringing your tithe and you're giving offerings in generosity over because you're going to need more supply. A lot of times trouble happens when you don't have the proper amount of supply. Well, look at your sowing, and that can cause a little meeting to have and say, honey, this is, we've got a problem here. I got a quick one here.
Speaker 1:My, my oldest sister, the one Marianne, was saved early. I think she was the first one in our whole family that really got born again. I don't remember exactly how she got saved, but it was out in California. They were out there and then when she got back, then all of us were saved and we all would have prayer meetings together, you know, and we'd have these family prayer meetings and everything.
Speaker 1:And her husband was always kind of the odd man out Frank was. He had kind of quit being a Catholic, but he didn't like all this charismatic stuff. He didn't like the spraying in tongues and he didn't like any of it. So he kind of distanced himself and he started going back to the Catholic church and we scratched our head and thought, what in the world are you going back to that for? So, anyway, he was kind of an odd man out for a long time. What are you going back to that for? So anyway, he was kind of an odd man out for a long time and my brother-in-law, frank he was a good guy though and he a good family man and he made a living teaching safety courses for nuclear materials. So anybody that had nuclear material had to have his course to be certified. So you had hospitals, you had pipeline companies, you had, you know, any number of people that handle nuclear material. They have to have a certification every. So I don't know if it's once a year or whatever it is, but he would go and teach that course and get them certified. And so his business was all over the country. He would travel from Conroe and he'd drive to Michigan, drive to California, drive to Ohio, drive, drive, drive. He'd wear out car after car drive into his classes and you know they got short.
Speaker 1:And in the meantime his wife is working at a church there in Conroe and and you know they weren't tithing. And so she went to him and said, now, honey, they weren't tithing. And so she went to him and said now, honey? She said I know you're not as comfortable with the way I believe, but I really I believe the Bible and you know I pray all the time for you. And the Lord pointed out that we don't tithe and we really need to tithe. Honey, let me show you what the Bible says about tithing. And so she just really gently, sweetly, and she prayed a long time before she ever broached the subject.
Speaker 1:In the meantime he got to be friendly with the pastor of the church that she was going to and take him fishing. They go on Lake Conroe and take the pastor fishing, spend time with. So he got to be around people like us, real people, real everyday situation. Then he started helping at the church, fix things at the church. So he started kind of getting you know that way. So he was prepared.
Speaker 1:So she started talking to him about tithing. She said now. He said prove me now test me. Would you let me tithe what you're making? I believe I'm just believing. If we start tithing, the phone will ring more often and you'll have more business, and if it doesn't work then we won't do it anymore, we'll just stop. And he agreed to let her start tithing.
Speaker 1:He's an unbeliever, he's never been saved. And so they start tithing. I mean, his phone starts ringing. He's wearing out car after car, he's going all over the country and then once a year they get to go to Las Vegas and she gets to lay around the swimming pool in the desert heat while he's going to these meetings and pays for a fancy hotel in Vegas. And so eventually he did. He got saved. He's in heaven now. He went to heaven a few years ago because she loved him into the kingdom.
Speaker 1:So you know, maybe that's your situation. Maybe you've got an unsaved loved one, maybe they're a husband, maybe they're a wife. You know God. God can hear and answer prayer. The word of God can work for you. Come on, let's just lift our hands. Father, we thank you tonight for these principles of the word. Lord, we just thank you that we are redeemed from the curse of the law, that all these blessings are coming upon us and overtaking us in the name of Jesus. In the name of Jesus, I want everybody to stand and I want us to. What I'm going to do tonight is I'm going to release the blessing over you by this verse.
Speaker 1:It's one of the verses that God gave me when I started this church, jeremiah 33. And this is what shepherds did with sheep. When a shepherd had a flock of sheep, they would put them in a narrow place on the side of a hill. The shepherd would stand above the sheep and the pathway would be right down below, where they would be just like one at a time running through, and he would stretch out his rod over the sheep and he would number the sheep. That way he would know how many sheep were in the flock. And that was in jeremiah 33 and um. In the cities of the mountains and the cities of the veil and the cities of the south and in the land of benjamin and the places about jerusalem and in the cities of judah, shall the flocks pass again under the hands of him that telleth them or that number them. And that was one of the verses God used for me to get in, to start this church, and I had a vision of you passing under my rod.