Glorious Way Church
Glorious Way Church equips believers for the work of the ministry and stands for God’s truth in our culture. We serve as a regional center, where people from all backgrounds find refreshing worship and true communion of the saints.
Glorious Way Church
Parenting 1: Guiding Forces | Marriage & Family Series 5
This eye-opening exploration of biblical parenting cuts through cultural confusion to reveal what truly matters in raising children. Drawing from Proverbs 22:6 and other scriptural foundations, we unpack the profound responsibility parents have as the first representation of God their children will encounter.
Let's just begin in prayer, and so y'all bow your heads with me. Heavenly Father, I thank you for your holy written word. Holy Spirit, I thank you for dwelling on the inside of us and breathing life on this word, putting light on this for us, giving us revelation, knowledge. Lord, we're looking for the gaps in our life, to close those gaps, to give no place to the devil in our family, with our kids, in our marriages, and so, Lord, we just thank you for the very present help that we have. I pray that everybody here tonight, everybody watching on live stream, they're going to hear exactly what they need to hear, regardless of what is spoken. They're going to hear what they need to hear, and so your will be done, your word's going out tonight and it's going to accomplish what you intend. We thank you for these things in Jesus name. We pray Amen.
Speaker 1:All right, so again, my name is James Buttonrock, this is my wife, claire, and we're going to we get to teach a little bit tonight. We do have some experience. I think. We're coming up on 23 years of marriage and we have three kids one 19, one 18 and one 14. And we think they're pretty great, but we are not experts.
Speaker 1:Everybody thinks, and so you know we can learn from our own mistakes and learn from other mistakes, so that we don't have to repeat those.
Speaker 2:And teach out of this mistakes that we did make, as well as the successes, and so we were just sharing with you out of the word of God and knowing that we all have room to grow. Amen.
Speaker 1:Amen. So if you're watching on live stream again tonight, we've got notes prepared for this teaching tonight and you can find those by going to the events, finding the event tonight marriage and family series. Again, the title tonight is parenting guiding forces and there should be a PDF document there for you to download and follow along with us. But let's just jump right in, shall we?
Speaker 2:It won't have everything.
Speaker 1:It won't have everything, and so you might have to fill in some on your own. So Claire and I are going to go back and forth tonight and share out of God's word and share some experiences with you. We're going to start out by talking about God's orderly arrangement, and I taught on this a few Sundays ago. If you haven't heard this, I'm not going to reproduce this whole message, but if you haven't heard it God's orderly arrangement I'm just going to encourage you to go back and listen to that, because we're going to key off of some of those things tonight, the basics of God's orderly arrangement.
Speaker 1:You'll find that in John 3.16, where it says for God so loved the world and I always thought the world was people, but that word is a Greek word and it does not mean people, it's not a people group, it's not ethnos, it's for God so loved his orderly arrangement, the cosmos greek word cosmos, so that's the entirety of everything he created, and he created things in order, and when sinners introduced things fall from order and go into disorder, and so, uh, you know, adam was charged to uh, to reign over the order, and he fell out of right standing and jesus brought us back into right standing. So we are now agents put in place to restore order to the chaos that we've had. So we're in.
Speaker 2:Everybody with toddler says amen.
Speaker 1:Yep.
Speaker 1:So if you've got, if you've got a kid, a toddler, their room does not go from chaos into order. It always goes the other way. You clean it up and you turn around and it's chaotic again. So you're God's change agent to keep that room clean. But part of this understanding is understanding that God's order for the family, for marriage, for parenting, for kids, there's an order that runs all the way through there.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to teach on all these things either, but the Hebrew word for man is ish and the Hebrew word for woman is ishah. The first word of the Old Testament in the Hebrew is bereshit and it means covenant. It's Genesis, but it means covenant. And he wrapped up and hid within those words some very special things about the covenant of marriage. Man by himself can't represent or reflect the entirety of what God is, and neither can a woman, but God created us both together. God has attributes that are feminine and attributes that are masculine, and when we come together under the covenant of marriage, then we can begin to reflect the proper image of God. We're created in his image and we're created in his image for a purpose Under the covenant of marriage within. We're created in his image and we're created in his image for a purpose Under the covenant of marriage.
Speaker 1:Within that word, bereshit is a Hebrew word for fire, and so fire, when it's unrestrained, can be very dangerous, and that's the passion by itself. And unrestrained it's a dangerous thing, but in the proper context and under the boundaries and the covenant of marriage it's a great thing. And God put that there for us so we could enjoy each other and reproduce after our own kind, in his image. And so that's just touching on the basics of a couple of different teachings there. But God gave us the creative power to reproduce the human spirit. He created us to be creative beings in the God class or God type of beings, not that we're equal with God or that we are a God, but he just created us differently than the animal kingdom, than the plant kingdom, than anything else in nature. He gave us the ability to recreate others in his image, and so the procreation is so critical, and that's why the devil spends so much time attacking the image of God, the man, the woman, attacking the covenant of marriage and attacking the procreation, the image bearers of God.
Speaker 1:In Ephesians 5.1, it says Therefore, be imitators of God as dear children and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and gave himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet, smelling aroma, and so being imitators of God. You think about your kids being imitators. You're the first God type that they're introduced to, that they see, and so the question I have for you is are they seeing God in you? Are they seeing God in your marriage? Are they seeing God in the parenting? Because they're going to imitate something and we want them to be imitators of God as dear children. Claire, you got anything.
Speaker 2:Just that. I know you feel it can be overwhelming to imagine you have been endowed with God like qualities as a parent. We have created something, a life that's eternal, a human spirit that never you know it lives on for eternity. So so if God gave us this, then he wants us to imitate him. He wants our kids to see all. I mean you think about God. He is merciful, he's gracious, he's so loving, but he has boundaries and he has a law and he has an order and he wants us to follow it. And so this is, this is God's plan, and for us to present God's plan is right and good. But you might say, oh, I got off the plan. I had a child, but I wasn't in covenant, or this or that happened, or I have a blended family, or I came from this or that. God is a redeemer, he is awesome. How many will testify that God is a redeemer?
Speaker 1:Have you experienced that.
Speaker 2:So, uh, but. But it's still good and right to say this is God's plan, this is the way he made it, because, if we will acknowledge that this is the best way, this is God's way, and whether or not we ever got off of it, or or, or whatever happened in our past, we can still acknowledge God. Your way is higher and better than my way, and once we do that, then it opens the door for all of the redemptive power of God to come rushing in and to make it right. You are not on plan B Now, you can be on plan A. God's redemption is so strong and so powerful for you, so please keep that in mind, while we're talking about the path.
Speaker 1:How many of you threw away your kids when they made their first mistake? No, and so our Heavenly Father doesn't do that with us either. We can make mistakes along the way, we can violate His plan, we can come back into right standing with His plan, we can get things right and the redemption is always there. But I just don't want to lose sight of the weightiness and the responsibility that goes with you've created a being that's eternal. Now.
Speaker 2:I couldn't believe when I first looked at my child. I am somebody's mother and I almost felt sorry for her. But children are a blessing. That brings us to our next point, and this is just a mindset that we want to get into because it is so easy to fall into a trap. This culture does not value children. Have you noticed that there is a spirit on this culture of murder, of infanticide, of abortion, and that door views children as not a blessing? And even if you know your child lives through the pregnancy, then we're set. You know it's well, we we still. A career is more important. These other goals, aspirations, you know, are more important. Being a movie star is more important than my, you know I, so I want to speak to that.
Speaker 2:The word says, psalm 127, three to five. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. God is not punishing you with that child, he is rewarding you. And it says like arrows in the hand of a warrior so are the children of one's youth Happy? Is the man who has his quiver full of them? Everybody say happy.
Speaker 1:Happy.
Speaker 2:They shall not be ashamed, and this, to me, is futuristic. This is when we look down the path of the end of our parents. You know, our kids are grown now. They shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate. In other words, when we raise our kids right, they will speak up for us against our enemies. They will be our advocates. They will be like like you, but stronger and more powerful. So our, our, our, our thought is man, these kids, they're a blessing. And if we treat our kids, especially when they are misbehaving, especially when they have spilled something, they have broken something, they have maybe not even, they're not even being willful, Now, that's another thing. If the kids are willfully disobedient we'll talk about some methods next week but just kids.
Speaker 2:They stumble and skin their knees, but they are always a blessing If we treat them like a burden or an inconvenience, they will be a burden and inconvenient, but if we treat them always like a blessing, even when they're teenagers and they crashed into your garage with the car or whatever they did, they are a blessing and we can use those failures as learning opportunities. So then I want to just ask this rhetorical question, and I have a personal story. I am not here to preach to anybody. I am not a nurse or a doctor. I do not give medical advice. I am just a church lady. I am not a nurse or a doctor. I do not give medical advice. I am just a church lady. But when you think about the modern concept of birth control, how does that fit in with this? Well, what the word says.
Speaker 1:Children are a blessing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so James was like well, that's blessing, control Meh that's too much blessing.
Speaker 2:I do believe, and this takes faith, I get it. I do believe that when God blesses us with children, he there is a corresponding blessing, a financial blessing, to care for those children. If we will walk in faith, the just shall live by faith. It is a faith every day, every minute of the day. But I, I got to tell you, as a young woman, I was placed on birth control. I was told I bought into the whole lie. I was placed on that pill. Oh, it's going to help your skin, it's going to help your health, it's going to help the cramps, it's going to help this, this and this. And we just blindly take something.
Speaker 2:James was at work and um, and the Holy spirit came on me and I had this burning question all of a sudden how does this pill prevent pregnancy? I had never asked myself that question before. Then I thought does it prevent the pregnancy or does it kill the baby? And so I did some research and I realized that it was not preventing pregnancy, it was preventing any child from implanting in my womb. And so, in fact, and then the hair raised up on the back of my neck, I began to just, I broke before the Lord, I repented before God. I said, james, we can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry I might have bunt rocks in heaven that I will meet someday. I have no idea, but it was so real to me and that is my experience and I will just leave it right there.
Speaker 2:But I know that God, even in the Bible times, children were a symbol of blessing and it was a symbol of cursing if you could not have them. And so for those of you who are believing for kids, you're blessed of the Lord. You should say that every day that you are redeemed from the curse of the law Galatians 3.13,. You are redeemed from the curse of the law because Jesus was nailed to a tree. He became a curse for you. And what is the curse of the law? You can read it in Deuteronomy 28,. But a barren womb is a curse, and so you do not have to receive that curse. You can have a lively, active womb. You will be a joyful mother of children Psalm 1.13, if that is your desire. But God's desire for you is that to not only, but to have a multi-generational blessing, and I think we can all think of those families who have the grandchildren and the great and like there's just, there's a blessing on the family and everybody serves God. I look at the Hankins. You know they have a lot, even in my own family. I have some brokenness in different places in my family, but I'm so thankful that my dad has poured into Jay and I and now pouring into his grandchildren.
Speaker 2:There is a blessing, there's a multi-generational blessing, and so that's why God chose Abraham. Abraham's dad was an idol maker. He didn't have a covenant with God. But God chose Abram in Genesis. You can read about it. But in Genesis 18, 19, it says I have known him, I've known Abraham in order that he may command his children and his household after him that they keep the way of the Lord to do righteousness and justice. And what was God's promise to Abraham? It's the same to you A lot of kids, so a big, a lot of descendants.
Speaker 2:As the sand of the sea, I mean as the stars in the sky. That's how your descendants are going to be. You're going to be a mighty nation, they're going to be a strong nation, they're going to have a lot of land and, and through your family line, all the nations of the earth will be blessed. Those are the four things he promised Abraham. He made it true and it's true for us. There is a multi-generational blessing. You can have the land. You can have whatever you need, according to how we raise our kids, if we'll be faithful over what God gave us. So that's what he wants to do for you, amen, and so why? So there are a lot of parenting methods that you can read out there, and lots of people have different goals when they raise their kids. And you can see the dance moms, and you can see that the dance moms have you all seen the dance moms? I don't watch that show, but it's a little extreme. They're crazy.
Speaker 2:They are crazy and and these children are snapped to. You know, and they, their moms, have put a lot of pressure on them to perform at a certain level and in their entire world revolves around dance, and so I don't know what their parenting goals are. But some people's goal are for their children to be very well educated or get into this great school, whatever that means, or to be really happy and fulfilled in their selfish little life, you know, or?
Speaker 2:play professional baseball or be really good at baseball or be really good at dance or be really, and so I mean I just want to dig down and say here is the ultimate goal.
Speaker 1:Well, in Deuteronomy, chapter 6, verse 5, it says you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength.
Speaker 1:And these words which I command you today, shall be in your heart and you shall teach them diligently, teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk in the way, when you lie down and when you get up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as the frontlets between your eyes, and you shall write them on the doorpost of your house or on the gates. And so you think about the. That's a lot of places, that's a lot of talk about God's word and about his promises and who he is, and that needs to be before your kids all the time, the ultimate goal and purpose for your children, I mean. You think about eternity. We live on this earth, and that's a short period of time, relatively speaking. For the rest of eternity they're going to be in the presence of God, glorifying him forever, and so everything we do here is preparation for the next level, and so will they love Jesus.
Speaker 1:Will they love?
Speaker 2:the Lord, their God, with all their heart.
Speaker 1:Not baseball. I mean, I understand, in the beginning God created the baseball, no the big inning.
Speaker 2:See what I did there. It was clever.
Speaker 1:The big inning. Their ultimate purpose is to love God, to serve God, to worship him forever. The big inning See what I did there, it was clever. The big inning. Their ultimate purpose is to love God, to serve God, to worship him forever.
Speaker 1:In Ephesians 2, verse 10, it says for we are his workmanship, we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus. For what? For good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. And so there was a preparation that God did in the very beginning, a set of works that were prepared for us to do, for our children to do, for their children's children to do. We were created for good works. That's our purpose, the ultimate goal to love God, to worship God, to be filled with the knowledge of Him, to be filled with the knowledge of him and to be his workmanship. Created for good works. Colossians 3.17 says whatever you do in word or deed, do also in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father, through him. And so, if you wonder, is what I'm doing right now helping to accomplish his purpose for me in my life? Well, are you doing everything that you're doing in word or in deed as unto the Lord you know? So then that kind of starts putting a limiting factor on the things that you're doing.
Speaker 2:Jesus, help us, help us with our kids, help us really do this and but this is something that I put in here because we did pray this over our kids, and this is one of our daily confessions They'll love the Lord, their God, with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. They'll love their neighbor as themselves. They'll love the Lord, their God. They'll love their neighbor.
Speaker 1:Psalm 1-1, they should be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bring forth their fruit in their seasons.
Speaker 1:We spent our early parenting time, especially over the top, just speaking the word over them. They're going to bed and they're hearing it. They're used to hearing it. They're hearing it in the morning when they get up. They're hearing it at night, when they're going to bed. They're hearing it in the daytime. They're hearing it, hearing it, hearing it, and so it's ever before them. Their purpose is ever before them. We know that there's some conflicting purposes in this world, and so, while you're trying to pour into them one way, the world is trying to do something different, and so there's forces in this world that are tugging and pulling on them in a direction, but we've got some guiding forces That'll help raise them up in the way they should go.
Speaker 2:Yes. So if I were to ask you probably what is your favorite parenting verse, I'm sure there would be many of you that would pop up and say Proverbs 22.6. And so I shared that with. This is the next thing. Let's unpack Proverbs 22.6. It's very familiar Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. He will not depart, he will not. Some of you parents have had to dig in with your older kids and say proverbs 20 he will not, he will not depart. I have trained him up and he will not. And we've had to claim that and do war with that scripture. But, but, and and the training up the child. There are very. There are methods, just like there are people that are good at training animals. There are where we can be excellent, we can be skilled in training our children.
Speaker 1:And it's not just telling them.
Speaker 2:No training, coaching, mentoring, all the different things, and actually we'll unpack that in a minute, but at the very last of the there is this fun color graphic, the parenting funnel. We might turn to that in a minute, in fact I think I will in a minute, but first I'm just going to lay out. We'll get into a lot of the training next week, but right now, um, uh, let's just talk about the forces that we set up in their lives. There are so many, so I'm I just had this analogy I guess God gave it to me, but it was always in the back of my mind Um, with my kids, I, I one time I saw a little tree I think we had one in our yard when we first moved in Tiny little oak tree, and it had all these guy wires, had a little collar on it, had these wires that were anchored into the ground so that that tiny little tree would not topple over, that it would have something to keep it upright and so as it grew it would have strength of its roots.
Speaker 2:But it didn't have its roots yet. So I was always struck by that. I thought, you know, I want my kids to have these different forces in their life, that keep them vertical, that keep them oriented to the Lord. And so what are those little ties? That and then. That was my analogy, but James has an analogy.
Speaker 1:So my background is construction and we grew up building stuff, big stuff, lots of concrete things and so I think about these guiding forces. I think about a set of concrete forms. If you're going to place concrete somewhere and you want that concrete to be a particular dimension, when it starts out it's liquid and it's runny and it goes everywhere, and it doesn't stay where you put it unless there's a set of forms that restrict its movement, and so those forms have to be put in place. Those forms have to be strong enough to contain the concrete. You start adding more concrete to it, and if the forms are not strong enough, you can have a serious mess on your hands, a very costly mess.
Speaker 1:And so when the concrete gets outside of those boundaries, when the forms are not strong enough, you can have what's called a blowout, where the forms actually give way and the concrete spills out everywhere, and you can scramble and try to shovel that wet concrete and put it back where it's supposed to go, but it's just not going to stay there without a proper set of forms.
Speaker 1:And so really, the ultimate fix is that concrete sets up, and then you got to get rough with it, then you got to pull out the jackhammer, then you got to pull out the saw and you got to start breaking off the concrete where it's out of bounds and start coming up with a repair for that. You've got to install a new set of forms, a new set of boundaries and you've got to add concrete to that. But before you can add more concrete you've got to drill into it, you've got to set dowels. It is an expensive, very difficult process to repair concrete that's come out of the form work where it was intended to be so how much easier would it be to just set up some forms that work the first time?
Speaker 2:Yes, because you know the kids. Obviously they're more malleable when they're young and the older they get, the more they're not. And this is a beautiful concept. That is so true. And if you read Psalm 119, it is the longest chapter in the Bible, so you get a gold star with God if you read Psalm 119, gold star for you.
Speaker 2:But the theme of Psalm 119 is how much I love the word of God. How beautiful are the commandments and the precepts and the testimonies and the law. God's law is perfect and it's so orderly and beautiful and I love it so much. And Psalm 119.44 says so I shall keep your law continually, forever and ever, and I will walk at liberty, for I seek your precepts. And that sounds like a complete opposite, oxymoron, weird thing to say for most people. Most people out there in the world. They think they are living free if they are in a biker gang or they are rock and roll and drugs and all that. Whatever. They are free. But really there are. And if many of us came from a background, we had some, you know, we thought we were free but we were a slave to sin.
Speaker 2:We were a slave to our selfish desires. We were a slave to, maybe, addiction. We were a slave to the lower nature and we were not truly free. We were a slave to the lower nature and we were not truly free. But God said whom the sun sets free is free indeed, and we're free to keep his word, and when we keep his word we're free. We truly are. We can have joy, we can have peace in our life. Things work, but they work when we learn to put our own life in that set of boundaries, and so we want to set up those boundaries for our kids.
Speaker 2:So now I think it's a good time to check out the parenting funnel. The parenting funnel looks like this, and then there's one that says the parenting funnel upside down. That's the bad way if we get this thing wrong, if we get it upside down. But the parenting funnel, I thought, was a fun little graphic. It's so simple. If you start from the bottom, you have little kids and they're real soft. Their concrete is not set up yet, their little sapling is still kind of wobbly and it needs some guides on there, and so that's where we're really establishing our authority. We're not trying to be their friend. That's upside down. We can't be their friend. We love them. They're hilarious and cute, but if you look at the upside down one, if we treat their cuteness, like you know, as an excuse for them to do whatever they want and we just laugh it off and we don't correct them, then it's bad. Okay, you can check that out later.
Speaker 2:But then, as they grow, you can see that now we are have we have more coaching than we can do. We can. We can train them a little bit more, fine tune them as they grow, and then, and as they're teenagers, we can coach them because we've built a relationship where they can trust us. You know, we the same mom and dad who, who sacrificed to give them their very favoritest birthday party and present, invite all their friends and sing to them is the same mom and dad that might have also spanked their little behind when they got, when they were willfully disobedient, and that can only come from that trust that we've already built with them. And so, anyway, we can and then.
Speaker 2:So we built that and by the time they're five, they might not need that anymore. They just need now, they need just training. We're establishing the authority We've got. We're looking not at the why, like not at the what that they did, but at the why did they do it. Because now we're talking about the heart, and we'll get into that in a minute. We want to not just change their behavior but change the sinful problem in their heart that made them do that behavior. Then as teens, we can continue building trust with them, supporting them, coaching them hey, what is the way we could have done that better? And a lot of times that happens through failure. They failed at something and, you know, sometimes we've got to give them the space to fail a little bit.
Speaker 1:If you don't ever let them fail at some things, they will experience failure later in life and it will be a hard lesson. So let them experience the small failures up front and learn from it.
Speaker 2:And we'll get into methods next week because we have some thoughts on that. But then the goal ultimately is then, when your kids are 18, when they're grown, you can actually enjoy a friendship with your kids. Then not when they're toddlers Can't be their best friend, but you can be now you've raised, at 18, you've raised somebody that shares so much in common with you and that you can truly love and appreciate as an adult, and I'd love to see that grow with my own parents. My own parents were great at this and they gave us so much freedom. There's a. Anyway, we'll get methods next week, claire, methods next week. But what are these forms? What are these guy wires? What are they? What? What are?
Speaker 1:they so the guiding forces. You get different areas, but it starts in the home, with the family, and so who are the guiding forces in your family? And you can ask yourself these questions, but who's present in the home and who's in charge in the home? Right?
Speaker 2:The roles in the family.
Speaker 1:There are roles within the home that fit with God's orderly arrangement. There's a role for the woman, there's a role for the man, and what she does, I can't do, and what I do, she can't do. But we've got our own assignments that God has for the man, for the woman, and we've got to demonstrate these things for the kids as an example. Um, who is loved in the home, who is hated?
Speaker 2:Well, that, what, what like? What do you?
Speaker 1:or what, what, what is loved in the home and what is noticed or ignored. And so if you were to ask your kids today what does your family value? What do your parents value? What you got to imagine what answers your kids might come up with for you. What do the parents value?
Speaker 2:What do they value? Good grades, my mama wanted to know oh, you got a 98. What happened to the other two points? But we knew that our grades were important. She valued penmanship, didn't she, jay? She valued that. But then what goes? She valued hair. My mom got up every morning to curl my hair so that I had a little soup bowl going on and that was in style, I guess. But I looked like. In fourth grade I looked like my own news reporter, I had like, but my mom valued hair.
Speaker 1:So tonight is kind of a broad overview of some of this stuff. We'll get into some of the nuts and bolts next time. On this we are because we've got about three minutes left.
Speaker 2:I know, before we break out into our groups, but really is it more important that your child, if they broke a vase or if they willfully disobeyed you?
Speaker 1:What's going to get them in more trouble?
Speaker 2:What would they get more in trouble for? And so, if it, you know in our house it was definitely willful disobedience and you better not lie to me. If you lie to me, that is not that is hated in our home, but telling the truth is valued.
Speaker 1:So a little story on me. When I was a kid, I was willfully disobedient to my mother, and I had to wait until my dad came home to administer the punishment, and so it was going to be a whipping with the belt, and so when I got home I got prepped for it, and so I took one of mom's plates out of the cupboard and I put it in my pants. So when my dad whipped me, it broke the plate. So now I've broken the valuable thing and I was willfully disobedient. So you can see where that went.
Speaker 2:It didn't work. But there there within the family, there are these things. I already kind of touched on failure. How do you respond to failure? Some kids are ridiculed when they fail. That's bad. Don't ridicule kids, but use it as a chance to learn. Even if they're young, they can learn from their failure. And then I think this is important, this is a guy wire when there's conflict. What do we do when there's conflict? Do we go to the word? Do we settle it right now? Do we have a spirit of forgiveness? Can we talk about this? When you said this, it hurt my feelings. This is how I felt. Can we talk about it or do we just walk away and ignore it? Do we encourage them or tear each other down? Sibling rivalry how do we handle that? Conflict resolution within the family? That can be a major force in a child's life. So let's get that right with the Word of God. Amen, but now go ahead, james All right.
Speaker 1:So we'll move on quickly to a child's heart. A good man, out of the treasures of his heart brings forth good, and an evil man, out of the evil of his treasures of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart, doth the mouth speak. So that's Luke 6, 45. We were made to worship God. What are your kids going to do? Are they going to grow up? Are they being trained up to worship God, or are they being trained up to worship idols? And there's lots of idols in this world.
Speaker 2:It's not just a uh, a false god, that it's selfishness is the idol, the toddler for sure. We have to break that. But they're worshiping something in every, in any given moment, and they might love the lord, they might pray with you, but then, in that moment that they're misbehaving, their behavior is showing you that there's a little idol trying to raise it and it can start with two kids fighting over the same toy and they care more about that toy than they do the relationship or each other, and so that's a very small beginning example of an idol in their life.
Speaker 1:They're selfish over that one thing. Let's move on because we're going to run out of time here. But we've got some forces outside of the home, and so I want you to think about all the forces outside of the home. You know, we're in church, our kids come to church. You're the parent, you raise your kids at home, but then you bring them to church. There are good forces that can happen by bringing them into children's church, bringing them into the presence of God. What are the guiding forces in the community where your kids are exposed to what's out there in the community?
Speaker 2:Tears teachers.
Speaker 1:Their friends, their teachers, their coaches. If you've got them in sports classroom, you think about the amount of time that your kids are spending in a classroom away from you. Someone else is raising your kids. Do they share the same values and the same ultimate goals and purposes to train them up in the way they should go, to be somebody who grows up loving God and worshiping God, and raise them in the fear of the admonition of the Lord? Or are they raising them to somebody else's morals or standards?
Speaker 1:And so those are forces that go to weaken the form work that you've established. You've built a form, you're pouring concrete in this form and somebody's on the outside pulling the stakes up and pulling the supports away, so that, before you know it, the form's weak and you have a blowout, and then you have a mess that's expensive and very difficult to repair. And so the guiding forces outside the home are also critical. To watch the media your kids have one of these. What kind of media are they consuming? So be considering the guiding forces, and they're guiding forces, but they can be contradictory forces to the form work or the supports that you put in place.
Speaker 2:And we do have an in-depth media topic that we're covering in two weeks from now, because it's just too big to hit and leave. It's kind of all-encompassing. But I want to close with the idea of, obviously, prayer is a guiding force. We're going to set up these forms as parents, we are going to set the forms, we are going to have the little guy wires, but these children are going to respond to that according to their own Godward orientation in their heart and so ultimately, we can't exactly control that. We can, just we can. We can provide all the inputs and we can pray, we can pray. So I want to refer to Trina Hankins' book Effective Prayers for your Family, and I'll close with that. In that she talks about how we can plead the blood of Jesus over our kids and she uses Noah as an example.
Speaker 2:By faith Noah in Hebrews 11, by faith, Noah built an ark for the saving of his household. Noah built that ark, and so the ark was made of wood, like the cross, and it was covered over with pitch, which is a type of the blood of Jesus. It is airtight, it is safe. It will keep you through any storm. So pray over your kids. You through any storm. So pray over your kids. Build an ark for them with your prayers and with your words over them. Build the ark over your kids.