Glorious Way Church
Glorious Way Church equips believers for the work of the ministry and stands for God’s truth in our culture. We serve as a regional center, where people from all backgrounds find refreshing worship and true communion of the saints.
Glorious Way Church
Godly Communication In Marriage | Marriage & Family Series 4
This powerful teaching unpacks the biblical foundation for marriage communication, revealing how God Himself—the ultimate communicator—serves as our model. Just as Jesus said, "Whatever I speak, just as the Father has told me, so I speak," we too can develop communication that reflects divine unity and purpose.
And so let's just open up in prayer this evening. Heavenly Father, we just thank you for the light of your word that illuminates our direction, lord, and I just thank you that we're children of the light and we walk in your light and we're finished, we're done with, we turn our back on ways of darkness and any kind of evil, lord, and we just grab a hold of your light. And so, father, we walk in the light. And so, lord, we just thank you that we are growing and we are changing as we grab a hold of your word and what it says about godly communication. Lord, you started out. We know that you are a good communicator and so we're imitators of you. Therefore, that makes us good communicators, because we're filled with and controlled by the Holy Spirit. We thank you for this in Jesus name, amen. So I just wanted to start out, and some of your notes may or may not match what I'm looking at, because we made some last minute changes. That's what happens when you go home and study and get ready for services. So you think you're ready and then the Holy Spirit kind of gives you more things to add. But in John 12, verse 50, the end of it, it says, jesus said whatever I speak, just as the father has told me, so I speak. And so Jesus communicated with the father and the father and Jesus shared common heart, common vision and obviously God's agape love. So it was a common love and we know from that and through that and in all kind of areas in the Bible, obviously, that God is a communicator. And so we know, because of our word of faith background, that word of faith background doesn't end in marriage. In other words, it continues in marriage. So we know that Jesus said that you can have what you say. Jesus said that.
Speaker 1:Kenneth Hagin didn't say that, and the pastor is not the only one that says that. God said that you can have what you say. And so those word of faith principles are woven throughout the whole world. And so God saw. You know, God spoke and then God saw. So God said let there be light. And there was light. And so he communicated that. And so there are power. There's power in our words. It's how we got saved. We believed with our heart and then we confessed with our mouth that Jesus is Lord. And so that same confession, we use that to communicate. We can build up with our words and we can tear down with our words, and so you can allow that to. That's how we survive, that's also how we thrive is by speaking faith. And so, but what is other than faith? What is the most other important thing God is looking for out of our lives? What do you think it would be? It's fruitfulness, amen. And so what kind of fruit are you bearing through your communication, through your words? What kind of atmosphere are you setting with your tone and with your words in your home? You know, are you building up your wife or your spouse? Are you tearing them down? Are you speaking down to them? So what does the fruit look like that you're bearing with your words in your home? So that's a good question, just to start out tonight, you know asking yourself look around at the fruit.
Speaker 1:And so in Kenneth Hagin's book on marriage he told a story about doing the pop-in. You know, they were driving through a town and they knew this pastor and they were driving by his house. And so at the last second, you know, hey, let's pull over and see so-and-so. And so he, they did, and and, uh, that got inside, and and in the, the, the other pastor and his wife went back and he told his wife man, they've been arguing, I can tell, like you, you, you set a tone in your house. What kind of environment are you setting? And so there was all kind of strife and division in that home. And they were able to minister to them and evidently they were right on the verge of divorce. And so if brother Hagen, uh, didn't, didn't stop, that day, it looked like that they were going to get divorced, and so instead, they didn't quit on their marriage, they didn't quit on their ministry and they, they went on to be successful people, and so that was the Holy Spirit leading and guiding them.
Speaker 1:So, but, but the point is that, what kind of environment are you? You know, when you argue, when there's division in your home, when there's division in your words, your kids know it. And so if that continues on, day after day, week after week, month after month, you're growing up in a divisive home. Um, you, the, the child, just becomes to think that's normal and that's never normal, right? And so, um, we, we have what we say. And so, uh, psalm 19, 14, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart glorify you or please you, lord, and so, um, so, he cares about our words, but he also cares about what we're thinking about. What is the meditation of your heart? You know, is it? Are you thinking wrong thoughts? Are you allowing yourself to?
Speaker 1:You know, when you have a disagreement with each other, it's so easy, right To, to just step over into the flesh. Make all kinds of assumptions. Just step over into the flesh, make all kinds of assumptions, you know, start to to to to project. I can project feelings onto her. Well, she just feels this way. I, you know. I just know that she's mad at me. I know that she's holding a grudge. I know that she's been. You know, you can.
Speaker 1:It's so easy to do that right, instead of just giving each other the benefit of the doubt and walking in love the way you should. And so in 1 Corinthians 6, 17, in the Amplified it says but the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with him, and so the context of that is being engrafted into the body of Christ. But the Apostle Paul uses a prostitute as an example. If you were to sleep with a prostitute, you become one with her, and so you've joined yourself to her, and so all of the problems. Pastor covered that really good the first week, so we won't kind of go over that, but the same. You know it's a good thing to join yourself with your wife. Then the two of you are one and so we become one.
Speaker 1:It's that same level of intimacy with the Lord that happens when you pray and when you're, when you're reading the Bible, when you're opening up your heart to the Lord and your personal prayer time, and then that that comes into your, you're able to encourage. We covered this last week, but I want to kind of double down on that and talk about a little bit about it's so important for you to have individual prayer time, but it's also good to come together and to pray out the things that God is showing you. I've shared this during offering time. Once a week, usually about once a week, we come together and share goals and dreams and desires. Financially, we catch, we catch up on that week's expenses, we use the program, so we're we're totally on top of every single dollar that that we're receiving in spending. And so we discuss that, don't we?
Speaker 2:We do Usually, man I spent that much. So we discuss that, don't we?
Speaker 1:We do Usually, man I spent that much, just kidding, but it's important to share those goals and dreams and desires. So it keeps you one, and so you're doing that out of prayer. So it's in some of those times that I'm able to share what God's showing me and she's able to share what God's showing her and sharing scriptures back and forth. But if you don't have that, then you know the meditation of your heart can be going the wrong direction, or at least in separate directions. And so, um, you know, sister Trina, um, mark and Trina are doing a marriage conference right now, in fact. So if you're watching online, don't don't switch over there, you're already here. But it's been so good.
Speaker 1:And so Sister Trina told the story of Pastor Mark asking for her hand in marriage and all that and proposing and what sealed the deal for her is, before that he had given her a card, and the card it said something like love isn't two people looking into each other's eyes, it's two people looking in the same direction. And then he had written under that Hebrews 12, two, you know, looking under Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith. And so that's kind of what sealed the deal for her, and so, but that's so true that we're two people, but we're looking in the same direction. We have the same goals. Our goals are Jesus, and so for us, ministry is number one. We don't have your, your number one, you're our number one. You know, obviously God is. But I'm just saying, like we don't have another plan B. We're not trying to do something on the side. We give our, our hearts wholeheartedly to the call of God on our lives, and so we're united in one spirit with him, amen. And so let me see Romans 15, five and six. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like minded towards one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may be of one mind and one mouth, glorifying the God. Glory, glory, mouth, glory, the God and father of our Lord, jesus Christ. So we have one mind, but we're unified in our speech. And so again, we're talking about godly communication.
Speaker 1:And real quick, before Selena takes the next one, I just wanted to point out two major keys to successful communication. Number one is timing, and number two is method, and so timing is very critical, especially when you're having a disagreement or when you have something major that you need to talk about. Talk about that in front of your kids. You're just not going to do it. It's going to have to wait, but it can't wait a week or two weeks or three weeks. You have to.
Speaker 1:It's so important to to to be on the same page as quickly as possible. Why? Because what? Even if she, but if she's thinking about something different, in a different way, that gap keeps growing and it keeps growing, and then it's harder to close the gap, even down to the smallest detail. You know.
Speaker 1:And so again, what I was saying earlier about taking things for granted, and just you know it's so good to have to choose. You know there's there's the perfect time to share that with one another. And so, since you know, with sensitive matters it matters, you know, to get on the same page quickly. And then the method Texting is great for a lot of things, but not for those things, right? I can't believe how many times, being married to Selena, how many times I misunderstand her text or I make an assumption out of her text and she makes fun of me because it runs in my family and I don't know if you've noticed from my dad's preaching, but we use a whole lot of pronouns he and she, and it's like which he are you talking about Sometimes.
Speaker 1:I'll start a story with he such as you know anyways. And then I have the whole starts with and ends with thing. But anyways, bless the Lord. So you're going to use the right method to explain things. You know, maybe if you can't get face to face, there's FaceTime. There's all kinds of different things, different methods of communicating that to get your point across. When it's of sensitive matters, right matters right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. A couple of quick things before I jump into number one. We do have marriage confessions and they should be in your notebook. If they are not, we might have some printed. But if we don't have some printed, we will get some printed for you. What we say out of our mouth is so important and it's vital. It's life or death and so and we also want to get some family and parenting confessions as well, but for right now, we have marriage confessions and going back to the I have one scripture and I don't think I put it in your notes, I jotted it down right before I got up on stage when Jay was talking about fruitfulness, in Galatians 5, 22,.
Speaker 2:If you just want to jot that down, I like what the Passion Translation says. It says the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions, joy that overflows, peace that subdues, patience that endures kindness and action that endures kindness and action, a life full of virtue, faith that prevails, gentleness of heart and strength of spirit. And so you know, faithfulness or sorry, fruitfulness is not just. A lot of times we, you know, we do celebrate the milestones, the 40 years, the 50 years, but what good is it? You've been married 50 years but you're not fruitful, you know, because you can be married a long time and be miserable, right. And so God's looking for fruitfulness, god's looking for peace that surpasses all understanding. Joy in the home, because we can look cute here at church, but what happens in the home? What words are said in the home? How are we communicating with one another? How does the fan, what kind of habits do the fam, does the family have, and and and and the marriage. And so it's so important and so vital, um, that that we, uh, you know that we're fruitful in our marriage and we're fruitful with our um.
Speaker 2:A lot of times we just take that verse and we think, oh, you know fruitfulness and and and bearing children. But no, really it's, it's a fruit of the spirit to be fruitful, to have joy, love, peace in the home. It's so important and so vital, um. And then, okay, so, number one, speak. Speak with love and kindness, and um, all of these points are all, uh, scripture, all scripture based. Ephesians 4.29 says do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen, and so that verse encourages us to build up, not to tear down, and so that's a guideline for how spouses should speak to one another, um their needs, not your needs.
Speaker 2:Yeah, according to their needs. And so we prefer love, prefers the other person. Uh how many. But how many of you know? You know, in the heat of the moment, it doesn't, it doesn't prefer. It's like I'm right and you're wrong, my way or no way. But we just have to make sure we remind ourselves of these scriptures Proverbs 15, 1,. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. And so you know, communication in marriage should be gentle, not reactive or aggressive. Right, maybe you were brought up in a home that was aggressive and full of anger and just emotions and stuff, and so that's not the way God does marriage, that's not the way the family unit should be going forward in anger and in harsh words. And so do my words, you know. Good question to ask you are my words benefiting others in my home? And so a communication should godly communication should bring us together, not tear us apart.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 2:Number two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just wanted to go back real quick. It just Hebrews 13, 15, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to his name. So the fruit of our lips, you know, our lips, our communication is fruit, like I said. But you know, if you, if you said, well, I'm just not a good communicator, well, I'm just, you know, I'm an introvert, I don't like, you know, I just like keeping to myself. No, that's well, god made me that way. No, that's well, god made me that way. No, that's an excuse. God told you to be an imitator of him and he is a good communicator. And so God accepts you the way that you are, but he doesn't expect you to change, excuse me, he doesn't expect you to stay that way. He expects you to change.
Speaker 2:And just because you talk a lot doesn't mean you communicate.
Speaker 1:That's right, because some people talk a lot doesn't mean you communicate. That's right. Because some people talk a lot and they say nothing. Because you can talk a lot and say nothing, that's not you.
Speaker 2:Pastor Mark Hankins just posted not too long ago on Facebook you know, we have I don't know how you word it two ears and one mouth, you know, and so we need to do a lot more listening than talking. Amen.
Speaker 1:Amen. So number two be quick to listen and slow to speak. Not always my anyways. Everyone should be quick to listen, james 119,. Slow to speak, slow to be become angry.
Speaker 1:Listening well is just as important as speaking wisely in a godly marriage. And so there are hindrances to good communication. You know we've talked about making assumptions, but that is a huge hindrance. Also, walking on eggshells and being afraid to hurt the other one's feelings. You need to be able, you need to have a strong enough relationship where you can speak the truth and love without and knowing that you're not going to totally crush the other person, so that that can definitely be a hindrance.
Speaker 1:Not controlling your emotions or your temper. So if you're, you fly off the handle. If you have a habit of of not being able to control your temper, then there's not going to be any trust and the level of communication that you have in your marriage not going to be any trust and the level of communication that you have in your marriage is going to be very weak and very low. Also, the fear of rejection or embarrassment, and that just has to come, the fear of rejection that has to be dissolved by the power of your relationship. And so if you have that, you need to be bold enough to tell the other person.
Speaker 1:There's so many issues that a marriage goes through with just different expectations, a different level of expectation, and so, in fact, all our arguments that's the basis of all arguments really is you have a difference of expectation, and so you need to be to develop intimacy close enough to where you can really lay out what I'm liking, what I'm needing. It's my job. I need to please the Lord. It's my job to please the Lord, but it's also equally my job to please her in every way, and so if I'm not getting the job done in my communication skills, she needs to trust me, be able to trust me enough to let me know that, hey, I'm, I'm needing this, I'm needing you know, and I'm, I'm going to need to step it up and be a better communicator.
Speaker 1:And so this week she's done that and has let me know some areas where I need this inside joke. But anyways don't we all need?
Speaker 2:to change. I was doing number three, speaking the truth in love.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Ephesians 4.15. Instead, speak the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head that is Christ. And so honest communication should always be rooted in love, not criticism, not manipulation. Always in love, um and so it. It can only flourish in an atmosphere of love and trust. You don't trust somebody, you're not going to really communicate with them.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:If I tell you everything and you blab it to everybody, why would I say it again? Right, and so then it goes into trust. And again, we only have like 25 minutes, but we can talk about marriage for two months and still not hit everything. So speak the truth in love. Real communication can only flourish in an atmosphere of love and trust. So Proverbs three, 3 through 4, and I think I didn't put that in your notes, but I jotted it down Do not let kindness and truth leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, so you will find favor and a good repute in the sight of God and men.
Speaker 2:And so in marriage there's going to be many situations, many occasions where you're going to have to confront your spouse about something that you didn't like, or you know, major or minor, and so you know problems aren't, aren't you know? Isn't the confrontation? It's like the method, the way we do it, and so first thing in confrontation is to to balance truth and love. A lot of times people like you know oh, I told them the truth. Well, did you do it in love? Because we're not doing it god's way. You might have, you might be okay, it might be true, and your spouse needs to know that, and it's it's jesus was moved with compassion.
Speaker 2:First, yes, he he wasn't moved, you know.
Speaker 2:And so the scripture, yeah, it tells us to bind love. Just like you wear a necklace, jay got me this necklace, right? You just remember bind. Proverbs 3 said bind love and truth around your neck. And so truth by itself is dangerous, it kills, it destroys, it destroys marriages.
Speaker 2:Right, words, right, they may be truthful and that might have happened. But but do those words need to be said at that moment? At that time, if it's not going to be done in love, you may be mad, and rightfully so, and that might be the truth and rightfully so. But does it need to be said at that time and at that moment, if it's not going to be done in love, if you know you are mad and you're about to hit a wall, right, because we're just being real, it needs to be. We need to wait, because you need to have the truth attached with love.
Speaker 2:It is like a necklace and you have to have both pieces. It has to be truth and there has to be love, right, and so it's God's word, I'm not making it, it's God's word, proverbs 3, it's God's word. And so we have to make sure that, um, in communication, that when we speak, when our words, you know, when there's a situation that it's done out of love for your spouse. You know that, hey, there's a situation and and we have to talk about it there there needs to be. You know, maybe it's a time issue and we need to make a decision, but everything needs to be done in love because it's God's way and it's the best way. Amen.
Speaker 1:Amen. That might be the best point of the night. That was good. Number four encourage and build one another up. So 1 Thessalonians 5.11,. Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Healthy marriages thrive on encouragement and mutual support.
Speaker 1:And so you say, jay, I'm just not a good encourager. Like I said earlier, you know, you're great, you don't have to do this thing called marriage on your own and in your own strength. You can tap in, like we covered last week. You can tap into the supernatural. You know all of heaven will back you up when you stand in authority and stay and be led by the Holy Spirit. And how to be an encourager, you know. And so you can go from being somebody who's not a good communicator to being the best coach in the room, you know. And so, um, you can go from being somebody who's not a good communicator to being the best coach in the in the room. You know. And so when you're that's that's what we're called to do is to be. You know, to, I'm called to build her up, you know. And and who would? Who would tear down their own body, you know, ephesians 5 says that no, I'm gonna love my own body. Like you know, I'm going to love her like Christ loved the church, you know. And so it's, it's out of it's. It's that agape love that I'm walking in, and that same agape love is what God is using to to rescue me out of every single thing that I've ever done wrong, and so that love is reflected back into my marriage. So you're not doing this on your own. You have all of heaven backing you up. Don't don't ever feel like you're all alone in this. You know you tap into the supernatural and it's the supernatural. You're pulling that into the natural realm and making the God's word work for you. Amen. And so number five five avoid grudges.
Speaker 1:Ephesians four, 26 and 27 says uh, in your anger, do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. So again, like we've been talking about, we we need to address conflict quickly with grace. Don't let unresolved tension grow. So when you show grace, that word grace in the Bible means God's ability. So it's God coming down and you're sharing that of God's ability in the supernatural answer to that issue, that problem, that conflict, again, it's not.
Speaker 1:Don't look at it like an argument You're, you're seeking God's, um, god's way of doing whatever. You know God's side in that matter together. And so stop looking at it like it's me against her. No, I'm fighting for us, not with it. You know, with her, I'm fighting for her with it. You know with her, I'm fighting for her.
Speaker 1:And so, um, let's see, uh, the longer you wait to talk about things, the more opportunity the devil has to accuse you to each other and to introduce unhealthy feelings and thoughts into the relationship. And so, uh, the greek word for devil is, uh, diablos, which means that slander. And so when we go to bed angry at our spouse, it gives the devil an entry point to accuse our spouse to us while we sleep. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever, like, laid up, late awake at night and you, you, you think of one thing against your spouse, and two things and three things.
Speaker 1:And by the time you know, the next morning rolls around, you're ready to fight. You've gone over it and over it. And so that's the devil working on you and working on your marriage. So, identify that right away. And you know, all you have to do is roll that care of that over onto the Lord and begin to pray and sow good seeds instead of allowing your, the meditation of your heart to be against your spouse. Roll that into praying for them. Pray over that situation, pray over that disagreement, and then the opposite thing happens. By the time you know, you wake up in the morning, you're, there's unity, and I that has happened over and over and over all our lives like it.
Speaker 2:We literally get to start over every morning you make it sound like we always go to bed mad. No, but I'm just saying we do not go to bed, man.
Speaker 1:No, I just meant, I just meant like, like, allowing, allowing your spouse, but I'm sleeping, I'm good, hey, get my good sleep.
Speaker 2:You get your good sleep too, I uh.
Speaker 1:I can win that. If that's a competition I can win. Praise the Lord, sleep like a teenager now. Anyways, thank God for alarm clocks, but, uh, allowing each other to start over, that's what I was, my, my point. You know you're not holding that grudge, you're, you're avoiding it and not holding onto things. And you know every day is a new day. You get to start over with the Lord. Every every day is a new day. You know old things that passed away and, behold, all things are new. Why would you not treat your spouse the same way? You walk into a new day in unity, amen.
Speaker 1:And so real quick, we're almost out of time, running out of time. But quick story, back in COVID we remodeled our bathroom, our master bathroom, and I was going to go all into that. But basically we got a new bathtub and the drain had to move over about a foot and a half. So the the contractor was out there with a jackhammer. It was supposed to be really simple. You know, eight inches of slab and just, but there was a hole right there. So the slab it ended up, instead of it being like eight inches, it was like two or three feet deep right there, and so he had to like go rent a real, real big jackhammer, everything. It literally took all day and so they were like sweating and and uh, in there working.
Speaker 1:Just it was so much effort, some like the littlest thing and so, um, I'm just saying like when, when we remodel our thinking jackhammer, that stuff out, the bad has to go and you're starting fresh and new. So don't hold on to the old way of thinking, the old way of doing. You know, we're learning, we're growing together in this marriage seminar. Don't, don't hold on to any old bad habit. Uh, if you go to bed and, like I was saying earlier, and you think of all these things, uh, to be against your spouse and all of the unforgiveness, that's going to be next, and Selena is going to cover that really well, but let it go, let it go. And so I just one more point about that remodel. I let her make every decision, every color, every. You know, I I think I made a minor change with the, with the shower, which was really good, but uh, but we have this beautiful mexican tile.
Speaker 1:Remember the minor change, the it turned it into like more of a steam shower, and the wall goes all the way up and that's fully tiled and yeah, yeah, anyways, no, just kidding you um but it's this beautiful mexican tile and it all goes together and it would win awards.
Speaker 1:You, you know our so, literally to this day, she made every, every decision, every fixture at the bathtub, every decision she made. But every time I walk in that bathroom it's like being on vacation. I feel like I'm somewhere else, and so that's the way it should have been Right. But just allowing her to flourish in that and allow her gifting to take over, I could have tried to hold on to that. I could have tried to hold onto that, I could have tried to control that, and, and I didn't. Instead, uh, the, the perfect product is there because I ha, I allowed freedom, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's what it is with communication. In our words, you can. You build your. Your life right now is a product of your words, the words that you have spoken, the words that others have spoken, the words that you've allowed into your life, the thoughts that you have taken on. And so, just like that beautiful bathroom, yeah, we enjoy it. But that's our communication. You build your life with your words and your thoughts. A lot of it is perspective. You know, um, and so many.
Speaker 2:There are many testimonies of people coming out of all kinds of kids, uh, coming out of all kinds of just horrible situations, but then thriving as adults where they chose to either meditate, chose not to meditate on you know what they were brought up in. And so it's just so important what we meditate and what we allow, and then what comes out of our mouth. And so the last point is to practice forgiveness. Colossians 3, 13 says bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. Grievance against someone, forgive as the lord forgave you. And so communication and marriage must be covered in grace and forgiveness daily, not like I forgave you back in, you know, three years ago, but you're gonna probably need to forgive again. I choose right. Forgiveness is a choice I choose to forgive you.
Speaker 2:It's by faith, right. You may not feel they did this, this, and that no matter, the situation doesn't matter. The word of God says to forgive. In the last scripture, mark 11, you know very familiar verse. You speak to the mountain In verse 23,. It talks about talking to the mountain and we emphasize that verse. But then, if you keep on reading, the word says the Lord says that your prayers won't be answered if you do not forgive.
Speaker 2:If you have bitterness, if you have grudges against somebody, why are you even praying, right? And so we have to make sure, like it's that. It's that crucial, it's that vital, it's. It's so important, it's part of your foundation, it's part of um having that abundant life is choosing to forgive Right. And so we have to make sure your life will only flourish when you practice forgiveness Right. You're going to have to practice. It's one one thing for us to be up here and to tell you and to teach you and you to read it in the word. But it's a whole nother ballgame.
Speaker 2:When a situation comes along Right, when all HELLL has broken loose and you have a choice right, am I going to forgive that person? Because forgiveness is not for them, right, it's for you, they are living their best life. It's kind of like well, I don't want to use that example, but it's like driving in Houston, jay, this many arguments have happened when we just on the road and somebody cuts us off and I'm like, you know, like they and they're, they're probably tell Jay, I'm like they're probably living their best life, and here we are, upset. Right, that doesn't happen all the time, but I'm just saying, like forgiveness.
Speaker 1:It's.
Speaker 2:Houston, it's Houston, it's Houston, right. We get mad at some, sometimes upset at the way people drive. They don't know how to drive. But I'm just saying forgiveness is for you. It's not. A lot of times we think it's like, oh, they did this and they did that. No, no, no, no. Forgiveness is for you so you can be set free and you can walk in freedom, right, and so we have to choose to forgive our spouse. We're not perfect, right, but we serve a God who is, and he loves us and he cares about us and he gave us the Holy Spirit. So it is possible to forgive. You can forgive and move forward, right, and so there's grace, there's mercy, and so we just have to tap into that daily and walk in the freedom, because when you choose to forgive, it's freedom, it's freedom, and then you can move forward together. You can move forward into your next season of life.
Speaker 2:You know, a lot of times people jump from relationship to relationship. It's not the relation, it's not the other person. You know, you haven't dealt with forgiveness and holding and nursing that grudge. We used to have this little book in children's church about a grudge. And you see, this grudge and it's a hairy, it's, it's and you nurse it. It's a nursing a grudge and like he gets bigger, and he gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And here you are, 50 years down the road and still nursing a grudge. That happened when you were 15 years old, and so you know. God gave us his word and he loves us so much. He wants us to flourish, he wants our relationships to flourish, he wants our marriage to flourish, our family to flourish, and so and it starts with, communication is so vital, is so important, what we say, not only what we say, but how we say it. Amen.
Speaker 1:The tone, the tone, amen, amen. And seeing each other through the blood. You know, we're not perfect, but the blood makes us perfect and so it's. And so when we, when I look at my wife through the blood, you know, when God looks at us, he sees us through Jesus's blood, and so if we'll look at each other that way, it changes everything about our relationships. Amen.